想打他的時候,怎麼辦? Wednesday, Jun 13 2007 

http://blog.yam.com/cwkids/trackback/10361141

孩子已經把我氣得快瘋了,我舉起了巴掌……這個時候,我應該:

一、默念「每一個孩子都有『向上向善』的本能,我的孩子也有許多好處」若干遍,

        直到我能夠「正確地」看待他;
 
二、較平靜之後,我開始研判情況,現在的情況是:
  1.他造成了立即的危險
  2.他損傷了我的尊嚴、干擾了我正在進行的活動
  3.他違反了做人的基本道德
  4.他違反了我再三告誡過的命令

三、若是第一種情況(例如跑到可能跌下的高處、玩火、攻擊別人等),我採取下面三個步驟:
  1.立即以行動(例如以手拉住或拉開)制止他,但不以語言指責,也不以暴力攻擊(即體罰)他。
  2.嚴肅而堅決地,以非常低(只要他聽得見就可以)的語言說明他行為的不當,以及可能的後果,並確認他已經明白。
  3.改變態度,對他示愛,並表示對他明白道理的嘉許,和對他不會再犯的信心。 

四、若是第二種情況(例如對我不禮貌、把水潑在我身上、吵得我不能和別人說話等),我採取下面的三個步驟:
  1.生氣地,以非常低(聲音越低越能表示生氣)的聲音告訴他我的感受。
  2.溫和地,以非常低的聲音說明他的行為何以令我生氣,以及何以對我造成干擾,並確定他已經明白。
  3.同前三之3

五、若是第三種情況(例如不肯和別人分享玩具、貪得無饜、偷錢、說謊等),我應該:
  1.不做立即的處理。
  2.思考他所違反的道德戒律的種種「理論」(例如人為什麼要和別人分享所有物),並準備對他說明的「講稿」(要用孩子聽得懂的方法說道理)。
  3.尋找適當的時間和地點,以便能專心地,在平和的氣氛下和他談話
  4.和他談話,但不是教訓他,要他提出問題來相互討論(例如為什麼不能拿別人的東西,但又要和別人分享),務必使他的理性思辨能力得到啟發。
  5.這種談話也許要進行多次,不期望在一次談話中就讓他變得「道德」起來。
  6.每次談話的最後,都要有一個快樂的結局,也就是三之3

六、若是第四種情況(例如超時看電視、不能如時完成家庭作業等),我應該:
  1.不做立即的處理。
  2.研究我的命令可行性(要考慮孩子所處認知的發展階段),以及他不能達成命令的各種原因。
  3.試圖改變環境(例如讓家裡變得更安靜、改變家庭作業的份量),以便命令較易達成。
  4.然後進行前面五之3、4、5、6 的工作

七、我下定決心,使用前述比較「嚴格」、深刻的方法教育他,不用魯莽、粗糙而「不嚴格」的手段體罰他。因為,我對他的愛是真愛,我不偷懶。
(以上轉載自人本教育基金會出版的《愛的手冊》/洽詢電話:02-23670151

Does vitamin B6 help with morning sickness? Tuesday, Jun 12 2007 

Food cravings and what they mean Tuesday, Jun 12 2007 

0612′07 Tuesday, Jun 12 2007 

起身,下床。

從洗手間回到房間,還沒摸到床邊,手就切切地伸向梳妝台上的『孩子,你慢慢來』。

還沒刷牙,還沒洗臉。還沒讀經,還沒吃早餐。 

我等不及要知道更多安安和媽媽的故事。 (more…)

嬰兒與玩具 Saturday, Jun 9 2007 

嬰兒期是促進親子互動關係的重要時期
每天撥出一點時間和孩子一起進行遊戲
能夠建立母親和寶寶之間更強烈的感情交流
也是寶寶一生中最重要的回憶

腦部與心智的發達和玩具的關係

雖然嬰兒腦部的細胞所具有的數量已經齊全,但仍然不是十分的發達,

也無法順利運作,所以必須不 斷地藉由聽聲音、看色彩、摸東西等動作,

對大腦傳送刺激。藉由感覺聲音或是顏色,硬度或是軟度 ,

使支配身體的運動細胞逐漸發達。雙手使用的次數越多,

支配手部的運動細胞就會越發達,手部也 會變得更靈活。越頻繁的運動,

對於腦部的運動神經也會越發達,運動的協調性和敏捷性相對地也就 會越提高。

使用道具或是玩具,和母親以及身邊的人一起進行遊戲,

能夠促進嬰兒的智能發達,寶寶 的心情也會安定下來。

 

促進對顏色聲音形狀等五感的發達

剛出生的嬰兒眼睛能看,耳朵也能聽,寶寶看著人或是玩偶的臉,

聽母親的聲音和愉悅的音樂, 非常喜歡和外界溝通,寶寶的月齡越大,

越容易對色彩、聲音產生興趣,會變得喜歡舔舐、啃咬、觸摸物 品。

這個時期開始,寶寶會藉著各式各樣的聲音、鮮明的色彩、

觸摸材質或是形狀特殊的東西,進而 來提高感覺機能。

爬行、走路、跑步的機能發達之後,使用道具或是玩具,讓他全身運動,

鍛鍊身體 的協調性、手指的活動性和肌肉的力量,使寶寶的運動機能提高。

選用能夠促進孩子和父母親或是週 遭世界溝通的玩具,

對於孩子的語言能力和智能發展有大的助益。

玩具的必要構造

能夠促進各種感覺機能的玩具,必須是能配合嬰兒的發育階段,

並且可以激發出孩子興趣和關心的產品;選擇美麗的色彩,讓人感到舒服的聲音,

不可思議的觸感等,此外具備保護嬰兒的安全設計,

以及具有容易和母親建立溝通的構造,也是非常重要的。

選擇玩具的重點
     ●首先選擇配合嬰兒月齡的玩具。
     ● 0~3個月 選擇聲音、光線、純色、花樣、口感味道等,可以刺激五感的玩具(愉悅的音樂、絨毛娃娃、床邊玩具、套環、奶嘴等)。
     ● 4~6個月          選擇以手觸摸會動、會發出聲音,能夠誘發嬰兒好奇心的玩具
 (床邊玩具、發出鈴聲的玩具、球等)。
     ● 7~8個月 選擇可以搖動、滑動難以掌握在手上的,或是動作複雜的玩具,
可以給予嬰兒成就感、滿足感和培養集中力的玩具。
     ● 9~11個月  選擇可以敲打、轉動、抓取等必須使用手指,而且具有結構的玩具,
在形狀、色彩、動作等可以變化的玩具(積木、轉盤、交通玩具等)。

嬰幼兒與父母親的親子互動 Saturday, Jun 9 2007 

何謂嬰幼兒與父母親的親子互動?

寶寶的發育不僅只是身體而已,更包含了人格及社會性等等各個層面。
特別是嬰幼兒期的寶寶,母子間的互動是最好的心靈維他命。
媽媽對著寶寶說說話時,寶寶總會露出微笑。寶寶哭泣時媽媽便哄著他。
像這樣的互動(訊息行為)與其反應(反應行為),形成了親子關係(親子結合),緊緊連繫了親子間的情誼。

藉由母子間的互動,培育出寶寶人格的「基礎」。

母子間的互動並非各自單獨進行,而是透過母親對寶寶的抱、背、餵乳、帶他散步,以及母親平常育兒時的溫柔感和從母親的肌膚中感覺到的溫暖中自然地發生。從新生兒起,透過母親對寶寶的愛情及溫暖,可讓母親與寶寶間的互動更加密切,也是培育寶寶養成對人類「基本信賴感」的基礎。

 此外,父親亦藉由對寶寶的直接接觸或對協助辛苦的媽媽照顧寶寶等間接行為中培養與寶寶間的父子互動關係。藉此培養親子之間以及夫妻之間滋生豐富的人際關係。如果能夠一邊保持這種良好的關係一邊育兒,不僅能夠讓孩子培養出與將來人生有關的愛、友情、信賴等性格,甚至能夠培養孩子具有人際關係中最重要的“基本信賴感”。

母親如果安穩下自己的情緒,寶寶自然也會安定下來。

就這樣地隨著母子間的互動加深母子間的關係。母親便能以安定的情緒對待寶寶,在育兒的技巧上面也會變得較為順利。根據最近的研究報告顯示,母親安定的情緒對於寶寶的身心發展和人格的養成有良好的影響。

培養寶寶有勇氣,忍耐,責任感的重責大任在父親。

在育兒時教育寶寶勇氣、忍耐、責任感是父親的職責。父親從孩子還小的時候開始就陪孩子一起玩,能夠讓父親產生身為人父的自覺,親子之間的互動關係也會更堅強。和母親柔性的接觸不同,與父親強壯的身體接觸,是孩子培養勇氣、責任感的第一步。

從兒童期到青年期的育兒主角是父親

親的存在。所以如果能讓寶寶從嬰幼兒期開始和父親建築親密的關係,寶寶從兒童期到青年期的育兒主角就會自然地轉移至父親的身上,父親和孩子之間就能夠順利地取得溝通。

抽點時間陪陪寶寶一起玩吧!

寶寶透過與父母親一起遊玩的時刻,建立親子間的互動關係,透過這一層互動,無形中造就了培養寶寶心理及身體發育的最佳維他命。因此,不論您多忙,絕對不要吝嗇抽空跟寶寶一起玩耍的時間。

孩子,你慢慢來 Saturday, Jun 9 2007 

     

拿到書了!

忙翻開來。只看完蝴蝶結(序)就酸了鼻頭。

 我從沒讀過龍應台女士的文字,她的名字倒是久仰了。

會找這本書也是在逛blog時發現的。

從這本書開始認識她,我想會挺不錯的。

 原來這是十週年紀念版。

找到十年前的版本才發現眼熟的很。

嗯…所以我之前是看過這本書的。(封面)

   

10年前初版時, 張曉風序曰:如果我直截了當的說:「哇!這本書好棒,你真該看一看!」你會不會覺得我太俗氣了?

『誰能告訴我做女性和做個人之間怎麼平衡?我愛極了做母親,只要把孩子的頭放在我胸口,就能使我覺得幸福。可是我也是個需要極大內在空間的個人…女性主義者,如果你不曾體驗過生養的喜悅和痛苦,你究竟能告訴我些什麼呢?』

這是封底的一段話。

那我說呢,

這是本”好看”的書。

怎麼個好法?

呃…

就我覺得很好看嘛…   ︶▽︶

新版的紙質我也喜歡  ~~^^~~

這就純粹題外話。哈哈。

Changing Table Thursday, Jun 7 2007 

Hmm…

I could really use one.

※       ※       ※       ※       ※

The lowdown on changing tables
You certainly need a comfortable place to change your baby’s diapers (you will have changed more than 2,400 by her first birthday!).

But you may not need to buy a table designed just for that purpose. Some parents simply change their baby on the floor of the baby’s room (on a waterproof changing pad), with diapering supplies stowed in a nearby basket. If your back can take it, this approach certainly works. One mom we know used precious nursery space for a twin bed rather than a changing table — she and her baby sat in the middle of the bed for diaper changes (and the bed was also invaluable for snoozing between night awakenings).

Some parents simply buy a changing pad and place it on top of a dresser. You can store diapers and wipes in the top drawer. If you’re going this route, make sure that you buy a thick changing pad and that your dresser is at a comfortable height for you. However, if you can’t anchor the pad to the dresser, this may not be the best option, for safety’s sake.

Another money- and space-saving alternative is to buy an indoor play yard that includes a removable changer.

If you have the cash and the space, you have your choice of well-designed, practical, and attractive changing tables. And as your baby grows — many parents use changing tables well into their child’s second year — such a table can offer more security for your baby. Many are equipped with railings and straps to hold their wriggling occupants in place.

What to look for when buying
If you want to buy a new changing table, you have two options: a separate changing table or a combination dresser and changing table.

As appealing as a combination piece of furniture may seem, we recommend the first style. The reason? A standard dresser with a top that flips open to reveal a padded changing area sounds great in theory. But it may not be as stable as it should be, according to Consumer Reports Guide to Baby Products, which says the flip-open tops can cause the entire chest to topple when you place a baby’s weight on the outer edge. In light of this design flaw, you may want to avoid this type of changing table, or look for one with an exposed changing area (minus the flip-open top).

Plus, as your child gets older, she’ll need a dresser, not a changing table, so it may be better to buy a separate dresser that will last throughout childhood and beyond.

When purchasing a changing table, look for the following features:

• A guardrail: The higher the protective guardrail around the table, the better. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a railing that’s at least 2 inches (5centimeters) high on all sides. But even with the highest possible guardrail in place, you should always keep one hand on your baby while she’s on the table. One quick body contortion and she could be airborne.

• Safety straps: You can install your own safety straps, but why bother when plenty of models provide them? You’ll absolutely need these to help secure your baby.

• Sturdiness: This is essential. Look for sturdy, stable legs. Shake the table with your hands, and if it feels rickety, move on to the next model.

• Storage: Make sure it has a place to store diapers, wipes, and creams. In general, you’ll find that open shelves running the length of the unit are more convenient than small, high-sided baskets. The storage areas should be out of reach of a crawling, standing, or walking baby. At the same time, you shouldn’t have to bend or take your eyes off your baby to access these items.

Important safety note
A BabyCenter reader writes, “My daughter fractured her skull falling off her changing table onto our hardwood floors. I was getting her PJs on after a bath. I turned to grab something and heard a thump. She had fallen 4 feet in a split second. Don’t let the same thing happen to you!”

Never leave your baby unattended on a changing table, even for a moment. And although a strap is a great aid, it’s not a substitute for your hands-on supervision. Always keep at least one hand on your baby when she’s on the changing table.

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What it’s going to cost you
Most changing tables cost between $100 and $215. Combination dresser and changing tables can cost anywhere from $200 for a small, unfinished pine dresser to $400 or more for a high-quality, finished unit.

My Pregeancy this Week__29 Thursday, Jun 7 2007 

INDEPTH: BABY SIGN Tuesday, Jun 5 2007 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/babysign/

INDEPTH: BABY SIGN
Baby signing
CBC News Online | March 10, 2004

Reporter: Eve Savory
Producer: Corinne Seminoff
From The National


Baby Ariana

How many times have you looked at your crying, frustrated baby and just wished the poor thing could talk to tell you what’s wrong, what hurts, or what’s needed? An American researcher believes they would, except they lack the ability to form words and say them. So he and a growing number of parents are teaching another method of communication – signing. Never mind baby talk.

Most babies with a wet diaper can only scream and hope a parent gets it. Baby Ariana and her mother can talk about it. That’s because her mother, Rima Dickson, and Ariana speak in baby sign.


Rima Dickson

“It’s very exciting because it’s not only comprehension, it’s giving her a reward,” Rima says. “So the first time she does a sign and I understand what she’s asking for, she’s going to get what she asks for and I think it’s really empowering for her just to be able to have that input into her life a little bit.”

Ariana’s hearing is perfectly normal. At 11?months, it’s speech that eludes her. Speech, but not communication.

“It’s just been great because she has told me that she wants to go to bed, like at 11 months old, a baby saying I want to go to bed, and that logically or intellectually is very mind-boggling to me, that a baby knows her needs that well. That’s just amazing,” Dickson says.


Baby sign is booming in the United States. Who knew toddlers had so much to say?

Researcher Joseph Garcia started the business “Sign With Your Baby” after watching a 10-month-old child communicate in American Sign Language with his deaf parents. It’s taken off big-time.

“My son was opening up his world to me and that would not have been possible without those signs,” Garcia says.

Now Canadian parents of hearing babies are picking it up.


At six or seven months, the babies seem simply stunned by this bewildering world. But baby sign teacher Barb Desmarais says there is stuff going on in these active little brains.

“They have lots to say. They have needs, they have emotions, they love to show you what they know. If they see a bird in the sky or an airplane or a cat or a dog, they love to be able to tell you what they know, and when they’ve got a sign for it, it’s wonderful,” Desmarais says.

“He gets very excited, yes. Particularly with milk,” one mother says. “We do the milk sign and he either throws himself at my chest or just gets very excited. So I’m just taking that as he recognizes it.”


“I know for sure that even though we’re not seeing any signing very often during the eight weeks [course for parents], they will be, as long as the parents keep it up themselves. They will be signing for sure,” Desmarais says.

While it seems contrary to earlier opinion, babies do recognize that a word or a sign can represent, symbolize something else. Janet Jamieson teaches deaf education at the University of British Columbia.

“Babies are able to communicate manually with their chubby little hands at an earlier point in development, several months earlier, than they’re able to co-ordinate all of the hundreds of delicate muscles in the tongue to produce speech,” Jamieson says.


In fact, normal hearing children say their first word at about 12 months. Children of deaf parents start signing at eight months. That’s a four-month gap.

“So all of this tells us that the brain is actually ready to produce language earlier than the tongue and vocal mechanisms are able to allow the child to express that,” Jamieson says.

Rima Dickson learned about this gap between comprehension and speech with her first child Geoffrey. He was 15 months when they started. Suddenly, they had a common language.


“Apple juice. Juice. I just about danced the first time Geoffrey signed. I think the first one he signed was… he did three the very first day. I took the class on the one day. The very next day, he did three of the signs back and I couldn’t believe it. I sent e-mails to the entire family. He’s signing!” Rima says.

“The lack of frustration, I think, is the best way to describe it. Instead of just ‘unh!’ and pointing and us trying to figure out what it is, to have them say specifically… With Geoffrey, we would go outside and he would show me his world. He would see an airplane and sign airplane. He would see a dog and sign dog. He would see a cat and sign cat. It was just showing… like they say that when children start to talk, they’ve got so much to tell you, and just seeing him show me his world from his perspective was just amazing.”


Geoffrey signing

“We know that providing children with early access to signs allows them to communicate concepts and words that they couldn’t pronounce until much later,” Jamieson says. “One example is a sign for toothbrush, which is a very easy sign, but the word ‘toothbrush’ is a very difficult word for a baby to articulate. So this provides the child with one extra tool.”

It doesn’t solve all problems. Even deaf toddlers who sign go through the terrible twos. But it seems to have no downside. It doesn’t slow normal speech development. And it may make children brighter.


One study in California found a spread of 12 IQ points in second grade between children who had learned to sign as babies and those who hadn’t.

Janet Jamieson, however, is cautious. “I think it’s a mistake to think that we’re going to create a better baby doing this,” she says. “Parents who tend to go and take sign language courses for the purpose of teaching their babies sign are very likely to provide a lot of stimulation for their babies in other ways, so we shouldn’t think that sign alone is responsible for any kind of intellectual jump-start that they might have. They have a lot of stimulation in other ways.”


“One of the great things about teaching sign language to a baby when they’re preverbal is that you’re a lot more articulate when you’re speaking with them,” Rima Dickson says. “So when I was teaching Geoffrey words, I would be more conscious. So if I’m saying ‘book,’ I’m saying ‘book, book,’ and saying it five or six times very articulately. So it made me a lot more conscious of how I spoke to them, and I think that it helps them be a lot more articulate.”

Whether or not baby sign will give Geoffrey and Ariana an advantage almost doesn’t matter to the Dicksons. What does matter is that it’s a bond beyond measure.

“I couldn’t imagine not having that communication with them, and I hope that it continues,” Rima says. “And how do you say I love you? I mean, Geoffrey talks to me about everything. It’s great. Absolutely love it. Good!”

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